From Kamesen, who took it from BigEyedDragyn: Choose twelve characters and list them. (Just about scraping the bottom of the barrel for this. Old and unused roleplay characters, hypothetical players without a story and one mind-altered canon character, lend me your ears!) Then answer the following questions.

1. Derrick Handel
2. Caswin (original)
3. SamX
4. Emma Isidora (last name unknown; begins with "I")
5. Rory
6. Vanessa Benedict
7. Kevin Hansen
8. CAPE
9. Evil Anthicus
10. Pry Guy
11. Kyllapso
12. The Gary

1.) 5 (Rory) and 7 (Kevin) are trapped in a room. There's only one window 12 feet above the ground. How do they get out?
-First, they take a while to figure out where they are. Then they spend a while irrationally blaming each other for this mess. Fortunately (or not), they're both smart enough to realize that they'll have to escape under their own power. After some further distrust of the everyone-thinks-like-me variety, Rory helps Kevin (probably the more athletic of the two) get to the window. Kevin later sends someone back for Rory if it's not too much trouble.

2.) 2 (Caswin), 4 (Emma), and 9 (Evil Anthicus) are on a shopping spree and they all find something they all want...but there's only one left. Who gets it?
-The item in question is probably that rare health-food snack that's actually tasty. Their initial reaction is to have a Blondie-Angel Eyes-Tuco-style standoff. Emma's eyepatch complicates things slightly. Between that and her more altruistic nature, she politely backs out. After a further stare-down, Caswin jumps over his shopping cart, grabs the box, feels his cart slip out from under his feet, grabs Evil Anthicus' cart to support himself... at which point,
1. Evil Anthicus decides that he's too crazy to be worth fighting for it, or
2. They have a fight which Emma comes back to break up. She then tears open the box and eats its contents to defuse any further conflict.

3.) 1 (Derrick) and 8 (CAPE) have a break dancing contest. Who would win?
-This could go either way, but I would put my money on CAPE. She probably has more experience in dancing, and her pseudo-feline physiology would give her an edge.

4.) Think 11 (Kyllapso) could be a super model?
-No. That would require, like, actually revealing part of his body to the public. He isn't especially attractive, either.

5.) Would 12 (Gary) and 3 (SamX) team up to slay a dragon?
Sam: Whoa momma. That thing... is... uh... big.
X: [Yes, Sam. Yes, it is. In other news, fire is hot.]
Gary: The Gary is not daunted by the size of this creature!
-Yeah, they totally would.

6.) 7 (Kevin) turns out to be a murderer. What does 2 (Caswin) think of it?
-He would be rather disgusted and only somewhat surprised. Then he would aid in his capture and arrest.

7.) Would you ever see 6 (Vanessa) and 10 (Pry Guy) together?
-BLAHAHAHAHAHA! No. They would probably get along, but... species barrier.

8.) 1 (Derrick) and 4 (Emma) are having a fist fight. What does 8 (CAPE) do about it?
-These are about the last two people I would expect to engage in a serious fight, but... CAPE would help Derrick. And unless their fight was to the death, Derrick would be forced to save Emma from getting killed.

9.) Why would 6 (Vanessa) be afraid of 7(Kevin)?
-Because Kevin ate Evil Anthicus.

Alternatively, if she had cause to believe that he really is as cunning as he thinks he is. It wouldn't last. Once they got to know each other, she would seriously scare him and enjoy doing it.

10.) Who would get to bed earlier? 11 (Kyllapso) or 5 (Rory)?
-Rory would get to bed earlier but take longer to get to sleep.

11.) If 2 (Caswin) had a special plushie but 3 (SamX) spilled soda all over it when 2 (Caswin) was away, what would 3 (SamX) do to cover it up?
X: [No, this is totally your fault.]
Sam: We need to coordinate better.
X: [Yes, we do.]
Sam: Let's confess.
X: [Let's not.]
Sam: He'll figure it out.
X: [No, I don't think he will.]
Sam: ...what?
X: [Fine. but he won't care.]
Sam: You lost me.
[Caswin enters, picks up his soda-soaked plushie, stares at it, and chooses this moment to quote a sketch from "The Amanda Show".]
Caswin: Is better! MUCH BETTER!
Sam: ...
X: [Now, slowly back away...]

12.) Would 6 (Vanessa) steal something if they had a chance?
-No. Try asking her again about ten, twenty years ago. Then she would probably steal something small and (in her eyes) inconsequential for kicks. But she doesn't do that kind of thing anymore... I think.

13.) If 7 (Kevin) ever dressed up in a dress, what would 12 (Gary) think?
Gary: Uh... The Gary does not normally judge, but-
Kevin: DON'T JUDGE ME! [glare of irrational hatred]
Gary: ...The Gary has other things to attend to.

14.) Who's smarter? 10 (Pry Guy) or 9 (Evil Anthicus)?
-Good question. Anthicus (standard edition) is reputed to be a smart fellow, but if it actually came to a battle of wits with his homebrewed "evil" self, Pry Guy would probably win. Could go either way. (It doesn't help that I like them both.)

15.) Does 4 (Emma) get embarrassed by 7 (Kevin) a lot?
-...huh. Didn't see this coming. No, I don't think Kevin embarrasses her a lot. (Not that he wouldn't enjoy it.) What happens between them goes beyond "embarrassment" for both parties.

16.) Who would make a better college professor: 6 (Vanessa) or 11 (Kyllapso)?
-Kyllapso would have extensive knowledge of science, that's for sure. Possibly geology. Vanessa would almost certainly have the better demeanor, although I'm not sure what she would teach. There would also be a host of "hot for teacher" issues to deal with. Let's say Kyllapso and hope nothing bad comes of having a supervillain in a teaching position.

17.) Do you think 2 (Caswin) is hot? How hot?
-Nnnno. Gender notwithstanding, considering that he's loosely based on *me*... well, actually, now that I remember what he looks like... sure, you could make a case for it.

18.) 12 (Gary) sends 8 (CAPE) on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
-To pierce the evil conspiracy lurking behind the undead. I would expect her to succeed without much trouble, although there's a good chance that she's one of the figures behind it.

19.) What is, or would be, 9 (Evil Anthicus)'s favorite book?
-Dune. Or whatever the real Anthicus' favorite book is.

20.) Would it make more sense for 2 (Caswin) to swear fealty to 6 (Vanessa), or the other way around?
-If anything, it would be the first way around. I'm not sure why he would do that, but he's a soldier and she's used to authority.

21.) For some reason, 5 (Rory) is looking for a roommate. Should they share a studio apartment with 9 (Evil Anthicus), or 10 (Pry Guy)?
-Tee hee! Ahem. Normally, I would recommend Pry Guy as a roommate, or in nearly any other capacity, but... Rory would do better with Evil Anthicus. They have much to discuss.

22.) 2 (Caswin), 7 (Kevin), and 12 (Gary) have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
-Somewhere local. Gary would take the initiative in choosing... I don't know where The Gary would go for dinner. I think he eats at home. Maybe a cheap diner. Caswin and Gary would talk at length about subjects impenetrable to Kevin, until Gary noticed he was being left out. Then Kevin would kill the conversation somehow until the meal was finished.

23.) 3 (SamX) challenges 10 (Pry Guy) to a duel. What happens?
-Short jokes.

24.) If 1 (Derrick) stole 8 (CAPE)'s most precious possession, how would they get it back?
-Theft. Derrick Handel. Does not compute. Possible explanation: CAPE's most precious possession was sinister in nature. This is plausible. If so, CAPE would probably break into his house and steal it right back.

25.) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 (Kevin) and 12 (Gary) both attain what they most desire.
-"Whatcha Gonna Do?"
(I've actually figured out a very rough plot for how that would go. Kevin is a twisted little man.)

26.) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Emma) and 1 (Derrick) to work together?
-A wizard did it. The catgirlism, that is. And then put them together and now they're off to see the wizard whether he likes it or not.

27.) If 7 (Kevin) visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
-Poorly.

28.) If you could command 3 (SamX) to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
-I would either ask for a lengthy explanation of pretty much everything X knows, or a sample of SA-X blood. For science!

29.) Does anyone on your friends list resemble 11 (Kyllapso)?
-An unstable supervillain who wreaks destruction and never shows his face? Uh... no. If anyone on my friends list is like that, please step forward so I can take appropriate action and probably not report you to the police.

30.) If 2 (Caswin) had to choose sides between 4 (Emma) and 5 (Rory), which would it be?
-Emma. For every reason you can think of.

31.) What might 10 (Pry Guy) shout while charging into battle?
-"SHY SQUAAAAAAAD!" (As far as he's concerned, it lives on in him.)

32.) If you chose a song to represent 8 (CAPE), which song would you choose?
-This feels like it should be easier, but I'm not sure. "Welcome to the Jungle" comes to mind.

33.) 1 (Derrick), 6 (Vanessa), and 12 (Gary) are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
-Gary. Derrick would give it up on general principle, while Vanessa would challenge him to a chopstick duel and lose semi-graciously.

34.) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Caswin) to use on 10 (Pry Guy)?
-N/A

35.) What would 5 (Rory) most likely be arrested for?
-That would be tricky. He might get arrested on a perjury charge, but good luck making anything stick.

36.) What is 6 (Vanessa)'s secret?
-I'll let you know when I find out.

37.) If 11 (Kyllapso) and 9 (Evil Anthicus) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
-Kyllapso. I would rather see them fight.

38.) If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (Kevin) or 8 (CAPE)?
-This was harder back when 8 was Eric, a none-too-strong computer nerd. But "cat" features aside, between her near-feral slouch and missing eye, ne'er-do-wells would probably be less inclined to mess with CAPE. We would call them "the smart ones".

39.) 1 (Derrick) and 9 (Evil Anthicus) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4 (Emma)'s sinister secret organization. 11 (Kyllapso) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he/she is actually a spy for 4 (Emma).

Meanwhile, 4 (Emma) has kidnapped 12 (The Gary) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Rory), they seek out 3(SamX), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?
-"Too Good to Last"

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That was fun. Let's do it again sometime.